#7 Emasculation

The Singaporean Woman is a curious creature. She looks demure, gentle and soft-spoken, but do not be fooled by this, because she is fierce. And I don’t mean Christian Siriano fierce either. She won’t hesistate to make her man carry her handbag, even if it’s pink, sparkly and not even big enough to fit anything more than a ping pong ball. Don’t think that you’re being manly and macho by carrying her bag for her. You are not carrying her bag because she’s too weak to carry her own handbag, you are carrying it because it is a display of power. In other words, she’s showing everyone that she’s got you twisted around her pinkie. What’s that I hear? Oh yeah, it’s your Singaporean Woman saying “Bitch, make me a sandwich please.”

Now if there’s one thing that you don’t want to do, it’s piss off a Singaporean Woman. You know that term, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”? Yeah, totally the Singaporean Woman. If you anger her, she will hit you, and it will be painful. You might even bruise up. Or if you really piss her off, she might club your balls with her Charles and Keith peeptoes. And she probably won’t be sorry about it.

Also, don’t attribute her moodswings/temper tantrums on PMS. Ever. You’ll be sorry, because if there’s one thing a hormonal and irritableĀ Singaporean Woman cannot tolerate, it’s someone telling her that she’s hormonal and irritable because of PMS. You may think that PMS is like a free pass for a woman to go all Godzilla on you, but it is not. Blaming a Singaporean Woman’s irrational behavior/extreme moodswings on PMS is like saying that she’s being a complete bizznatch for no reason but because she feels like it. The best thing to do when dealing with moodswings and temper tantrums is to 1) Placate your angry/scary significant other with chocolate, champagne or cuddles or 2) Escape (hopefully unscathed).

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